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Thursday, July 14, 2011

I Am From Desire



I am from bean fields and corn and from Iowa
from a house that was large and full.
I am from hollyhocks whose flowers
were made into dolls

I am from a town whose boundaries 
seemed endless though so small.
I am from dreaming and imagining; 
from playmates, pets and playgrounds

I am from conversations with Pat and Rose, 
with Carol Johns and Mrs. Delambert; Gertrude was her name.
From piano lessons and the prairie song
I am from black cherry soda at the baseball park in summer

I am from a small school whose teachers taught more 
than academics; about life and caring and fun.
I am from the wrong side of town 
where I was often looked down upon;
from hand sewn clothes and hand-me-downs.

I am from homemade bread and milk fresh from the cow
Because it was cheaper than the store brands.
From garden grown vegetables and oatmeal with currents
I am from homemade stew.

I am from a small school where everybody knew my name;
where teachers knew the sins of my family.
Some judged me for them while some
 had pity on me because of them.
I am from the ones who believed in me

I am from a fatherless teen-hood from a mother 
who worked long hours to provide for those yet to leave home.
I am from learning to work on my own 
from self discipline to succeed
and from resilience to exceed expectations

I am from independence learned to survive
from those who said I could not then proving them wrong.
I am from those who refused to believe in 
the strength of self-reliance
from my own willingness 
to get back up and try again.

I am from prayer, from the prayers of many 
and from the prayers of my own making.
I am from the voice in the wind 
on the high hills and the lowest valleys;
from the One who called me away from the chaos
I am from a refuge and a soft place to lie down.

I am from fighter instincts; 
instincts that tell me what is worth fighting for.
From the anger of an abused woman I stand strong;
powerful within but not so strong I can’t be broken
I am from the power of being free.

I am from friendship with women;
women whose lives speak without the use of words
I am from those who showed me far more than they told me;
and from their laughter when I couldn’t find 
a reason to laugh on my own.

I am from the friendship of my husband;
a man who sees so much potential that I believe it myself.
I am from a love that won’t let go knowing all of my imperfections.
I am from unconditional love.

I am from all these things but ultimately…
I am from an intricate design that won’t be understood
I am from faith that believes I was created for a purpose

I am from a desire to find that purpose
and to do with it as much as I can
Until one day I become too tired to carry on.

I am from desire!

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