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Saturday, July 21, 2012

40 Days to a Meaner Me




If I am in a long line and someone is coming from a distance needing to simply pass through the line, I am the one they feel most comfortable cutting in front of.  When I am at the grocery store, I am the most likely candidate for a fellow shopper to ask directions to the right aisle.  If I approach a door at the same time as another, I am most likely to take a step back and allow the other to pass through first. I will probably even open the door for them.  I have never even flipped someone off while in a fit of road-rage! I need to get this fixed and soon!

Yesterday I wandered into my doctor’s clinic and purposely sat in the children’s waiting area.  I did this for two reasons.  They were showing a “Looney Tunes”  DVD and there was nobody else sitting on that side of the room. I don’t really like to visit with people at the clinic other than the doctor because eventually someone asks the question, “how are you today”?  I don’t want sick people to breathe on me or worse, touch me.  I want to be left a lone.  Yesterday, like many days, I attracted conversation.  I didn’t even so much as LOOK at him and the words fell out of his mouth.  “Sure nice to be out of the heat, huh?”  I smiled, or rather grimaced, and quickly picked up a magazine, holding it high hoping he would get the clue.  “So, you from around here?” was his next question.  Really?!  We’re in the “bleeping” doctor’s office!  Do you think I traveled across the country for this?  If this was a pick-up line, I’m glad to report that this man will surely be committed to the “in sickness and health” part of his marriage vows.  Again, I smiled and put my face even closer to the magazine.  This is truly an act of desperation since I don’t usually touch magazines in the waiting room because of who may have had it before me. My doctor was running a bit behind yesterday, which really is unusual, and so I was really banking on Mr. Chat A. Lot being called back before me.  Finally, finally, I was called back.  We passed through the door to the exam rooms and the nurse asked me to step on the scale and I enthusiastically, perhaps pathetically thanked her.  She looked confused and I’m really okay with that.  I’m okay with that because I am on a mission to learn how to be mean.

The next time I’m in a long line and someone wants to cut through, I’m going to give them my mean look and they will surely tremble with fear.  The next time someone at the grocery store asks me where something is, I’m going to say “ask an employee, chump!”  The next time I’m cut off in traffic I’m going to shake my middle finger in the air while looking as mean as I possibly can.

So I am off to start my own 40 day challenge.  In 40 days I hope to be meaner than I am today.  Who will join me?

Thanks for stopping by!

Amy Lynn Michael

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