The car approached my back bumper with the speed of Danika Patrick and whipped around to cut me off just as quick. I was just about to utter profanity when I noticed the bumper sticker, “Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven”. Oh, I thought, because she was a Christian, she could drive like a complete ass simply because she has the “I’m a forgiven Christian Disclaimer” on her bumper. So I did what any Christian would do, I sped around her and cut her off because I have a “Jesus fish” on my bumper and I think that trumps her bumper sticker. Didn’t really matter, she then extended her “just forgiven” middle finger, which also didn’t matter because, yes, she was forgiven for that too.
I had a conversation with someone several days ago who was shocked at the language I used on my facebook page when I used the phrase “for godsake” when referring to a Beach Boys performance at the Grammy Awards. By the way, they annoyed me when they were young, why must I be reminded of this in their less than stellar comeback tour. Anyway, that’s another blog post. While I suppose there could have been a hidden request for an apology in that conversation, I wasn’t feeling the least bit apologetic about what I had said. I still don’t. After all, “I’m not perfect, just forgiven”. But you know I have given this much thought. I really do owe an apology of sorts. I have not portrayed who I really am or rather who I am not. I am like all Christians, imperfect. I’m sorry that I spent a better part of 20 years in the Academy Award Christian performance of “Super-cal-evang-e-listic” style of worship that ultimately taught me how to “act”. At home I was not a woman who spoke in terms of Psalms, hymns and spiritual things. So I am sorry that someone had to learn three decades into our friendship that I can and do speak outside the laws of scripture and more importantly probably, outside man’s interpretation of how “real Christians” should speak and live. Nobody can really live up to all that is commanded in the Bible, especially that judgment commandment.
While I am my own person and I will feel free to talk as I feel, I still have respect for people and the decency not to intentionally offend someone. What’s interesting to me about all of this is how my friendships have changed in time. When I woke up and decided to be myself, uncensored and free, I lost “friends” and gained friends, real friends. Social networks can be as simple or complicated as you care to make them. I approach them knowing that at the click of a mouse I can invite you in or shut you out. You can do the same.
I know my thoughts are somewhat disjointed and pissy this morning but I not perfect, just……..
Amy Lynn Michael